While most of us would love to say that we are generous, loving and selfless enough to celebrate the success of those around us, this is not always the case. To be able to truthfully say that you are happy at EVERY great thing that happen to others while you are stuck in the same place would not only prove that you are a lier but would prove that you are the biggest one of them all. Myself included, there are times when the green monster pops out of no where and grabs me by the throat squeezing the air out so that the words of congratulations never leave my lips… either that or I say it with no sincerity. This has been something that I had struggled with.
Learn to celebrate the success of your friends just as you would your own.vungalelenoa
You see, I have gotten better. This is not to say that I never celebrated my family and friends when they achieve big milestones and goals in their lives. Those that I hold dear to my heart and who are closest to me have always felt my love and their journey in life has always had my loyalty, respect and support.
However, those around me know that if you do not belong within those selected few, I do not always open up to and though I do not go out of my way to make them feel uncomfortable… I do not make myself the easiest person to be around. As I have (hopefully) matured and become someone who is learning to be a tolerant, accepting and contributing member of society, I now realise that this race that we call life does not end when I get to the end but that it ends when all of us get there. The timer on the clock does not stop when the first person gets there but keeps going until the very last person crosses that line.
I have learnt that life is way too short to spend worrying about who is in front and that if I keep my eyes on my own path and just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I can make it pretty far without realising. The success of others does not diminish my own and their timeline in how they achieved things is not a manual in what should happen at a certain time. Who cares if I am getting my degree later than others who are of the same age? Who cares if I am not getting married as of yet? I am only 23 years old! Who cares if I haven’t gotten my dream job yet? Who cares if I have not decided what my future looks like? My life does not run on someone else’s design on what the perfect life should look like. It does not run on what another’s perfect timing is suppose to be. It most certainly will not be the life that most expect of me but it has come to a time where I no longer care about the expectations that I have not and most likely will not fulfil.
So what do I do? I celebrate other people’s success. Their success stories no longer evoke emotions that could be described as me literally not giving a care. I no longer feel any envy or jealousy. I no longer smile politely and nod along while wishing they would stop. Now I smile just as big as they are and ask them about it. Genuinely ask them rather than how I use to engage before where I just asked out of polite obligation. I no longer listen to simply respond. I listen to understand because I care. It has caused a big shift in me where I feel as if I have taken a piece of that person’s joy with me. I have no taken a part of their smile with me. I now care.
So what do I do? I attend whatever event they are holding. I become a contributing customer and support what they are selling. I show up to wherever they are advertising. I use social media to reach others that are within my own field of influence. I read their blog. I watch their videos that they post. I like their social media posts. I show up when it matters. Though these actions may be small and insignificant to you, these truly show someone that you care. Making the effort and taking time out for someone shows that you have their best interest at heart. Though I would love to say that I am perfect and have done everything amazingly well and have achieved love for all that I can truly be happy for everyone, I would be lying. I still have many things to do in order to be able to get to that point and though I would love to say that I can see it within reach, I know that I still have a long way to go.
However, in saying that I do have two beautiful young women in my life (out of many many MANY) who are doing so well for themselves that I am beyond proud of.
First is a young woman who has not only made her parents proud but also the rest of us, her family, happy beyond comprehension. She has worked hard in order to get her degree, she has got herself a great job, she supports her family including myself as well as her younger (not so little) brother, continues her journey with God and has now started her own business with Arbonne. I was lucky enough to be there when she had her launch and to see her on her journey to be healthier, better and stronger just proves how resilient she is.
Nita is one of those young women that your parents compare you to. The success stories that you’re always told and she truly deserves all the happiness and love that comes her way. She’s genuine with you and would call you out on things that you know you should not be doing but rather than just reprimanding, she also lends you a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on when times get truly hard. She has been a rock for me during times that she did not even know I was struggling and for that, I shall always be grateful. She does not kick you when you are down but would sit with you until you are ready to get back up again and when you are, she is right there dusting you off.
She continues to work towards her goals and though she has taken a few hits, stabs and kicks along the way that has thrown her off her path, she has continued to show us just how strong she is by pulling herself together again and coming back time and time again. Though she always puts on a strong front, this girl has a heart that aches and is saddened just like the rest of us. Her dedication to improving herself amazes me over and over again and while I would love to say that I have followed in her example, my waistline would not agree.
Her journey is her own and I love that she has stepped up and have made decisions that she knows brings her closer to achieving all that she knows she can. I am thankful that I do get to witness this all and that I have a very small (and somewhat insignificant) role within it all. Words can not begin to describe just how proud I am of her and how much I am looking forward to her journey in the future. Here is to many more celebrations in the future.
Also for those who are interested in knowing more about what she is doing with Arbonne, please check out the link http://MilenitaKaufusi.arbonne.com/
The second young woman in who I also want to celebrate is one who goes by the name Naomi or otherwise known as Nomes. She and I met in a class which coincidentally only had two brown girls and I know you can guess who those two people were. Funnily enough we didn’t bond over our common interest in the courses we were enrolled in but in food. Yes, ladies and gentlemen food is not the only way to a man’s heart… women hearts also happen to open when a delicious dish is served in front of us so take notes!
Though we did not end our journey together and that she has now departed to Australia to find her calling in life, one has to say that she did not do too shabby either. She has now got herself a job which allows her freedom to choose and not to mention travel, and she now is putting her interests first which is to see more of this world. Can I also say that though she is near family, she is also achieving this all on her own? A true independent young woman.
I am also proud to say that after years of pushing and shoving her to start her own blog, this girl has finally done it! Let me just say that owning your own truth is amazing but being able to share it with whomever is willing to listen is truly magical. Naomi has a voice… though not always vocal, she does has one and a strong one at that. I had known that when and if she chooses to speak on her truths that it would be compelling… and I was not wrong. I celebrate her being able to step out and sharing herself with those around her. Though it has taken a while, it has not disappointed. Running a blog isn’t always the easiest thing. You get tired, you procrastinate, you get busy or you just do not feel inspired enough to write. However, these are all excuses that we use in order to simply push away something that allows not only our heart but also our soul to speak.
Though she may not have chosen the traditional path, but who am I to judge since I never took it either, she has paved her own way to where she is now. Even though I would love for her to still be in the same country… especially in the same city as I, one has to understand that though paths may cross one another and diverge from the original plan, that does not mean that it will never meet once again. Yet again another young woman carving her own way in this world and a blessing to myself.
For those who are wanting to read up on her blog, please check it out!
All in all, I would love to say that I have reached that point in life where I have absolute love for each and every person because I do not. I am human, I make mistakes and I certainly do not have all the love that I should have for others because… well, I have not quite reached that level of maturity just yet. Trust me, that is still a very long road. However, this is where it starts by appreciating those who you have chosen to surround yourself with and celebrating their wins along side them and accepting that there will sometimes be times where it’s not always going to be highlights. This is where it begins. At home, with the people you love and with those who have stayed through the ugly because there is always an ugly side to each person.
Young women like these two inspire me in ways that they may never have known and when should be honoured for the ways that they have conducted themselves. While we could sit here and wallow in our own sorrows and misery together with a little green monster called Envy, it literally brings nothing to your life. Like I said, I am learning to live a better life and that starts with my behaviour. I am learning to celebrate the success of friends and family just as I would my own… and that is one hard lesson.