The Hardest Thing To Do…

The hardest thing to do is to forgive someone who is never sorry.

Forgiveness is hard enough as it is but when someone is not even sorry, it just takes it to a whole other level. I struggle with being able to just forgive and forget, but if I feel as if the other person is not even apologetic for what they had done or even acknowledge the fact that they had hurt me, it becomes a even bigger problem than it originally was. What was once a small mistake now becomes an issue because to me, they are not taking responsibility for their actions.

If you are like me and can’t let go, I welcome you! I understand your frustrations and yes, you are justified in your pettiness (because we can all have our moments). However, if you an absolute angel who brushes off everything and basically can live a Holy Life of mercy and grace, I welcome you also so that you may see the life of those who live on the slightly darker side.

It has always been a struggle of mine to forgive and if I am to be honest, I don’t think I am even trying hard enough. They do say that the first step in helping yourself is to admit that you have a problem and here I am loud and proud to say that yes, I do have a problem. A problem with forgiveness, a problem with forgetting and a problem with moving on. I am getting better, or at least I keep telling myself that, and I do feel that I have a long way from what I was like originally. I am a stubborn person and for me to be able to change takes a while. It is hard and honestly I do get stuck in my ways after being comfortable. So yes, I do give myself a pat on the back on being able to try and change but I will just say that I am not perfect and that I am still as stubborn as I was… with minor exceptions.

What does get me though is when the person doesn’t even think that they have done something wrong! It is personally one of the most annoying things that anyone can do, other than chewing on a pen that they borrowed, and it just frustrates me to no end. If you did something wrong, whether or not you think it is big or not, just apologise! Say sorry! How hard is that to do? Admit you were wrong and that it was your fault! Even if you don’t even think that it is a big deal, the other person could be feeling a different way. You do not control how people are thinking and feeling! It is not up to you to just assume that the other person is just okay with whatever you said to them.

So when people do not apologise to me for what they have done, I do feel that the situation becomes even worse. It goes from something small and not really worth any time at all to an overthought, festering little seed that is planted in my head that ends up just frustrating me constantly! I know that I am not perfect that I do end up being the other person (cause like I said, I am not an angel).

Now I just learn to let it go (or at least trying to). Who cares if they didn’t say sorry?! Well, I do… but what I mean to say is, you need to let it go! I am learning to do just that because there is a saying that speaks on how you are letting someone live rent free in your head when you don’t forgive them, but they live their life as if nothing has happened. They go on with their day to day activities and the only person who ends up getting hurt is you. They probably don’t even realise that you are angry at them. You end up getting hurt, you end being frustrated, you end up being the person who wasted their time and energy thinking about a person who is living their life and probably getting some sleep while you’re up in bed, replaying the situation over and over again while thinking about what you should have said and done. Don’t lie, we have all been there.

So let it go! Trust and believe that I know that it is hard but forgiving someone who is not sorry benefits you more than it does them, believe it or not.

Be free and let go.

Forgive and forget.

Let’s just build ourselves a bridge and get over it.

 

Yours Truly,

Stubborn

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